Despondency or Despair
Over-care for the Welfare of Others
Over Sensitivity to Influences and Ideas
Insufficient interest in present circumstances
The Pregnant Family
There are all sorts of therapies that offer something to mums-to-be. Among them the Bach flower remedies are particularly useful because they act directly on the emotions, which are of course often in turmoil during and after pregnancy. Being completely safe they are often a first choice when physical and mental demands get too much.
But mums-to-be aren’t the only ones to suffer during pregnancy and its aftershocks. Dads suffer too, and so do elder brothers and sisters. Fortunately the remedies can help them as well. For example:
Most men these days are keen to be good dads. This can lead to feelings of guilt if the demands of their careers force them to take a back-seat during and after the pregnancy. This problem is made worse by the fact that for a time at least the man will almost certainly be the only breadwinner. He may need to work more hours so as to make up for the loss of his partner’s earnings. If he tries to fit too much into the day then tiredness and stress are the inevitable results. Pine is the remedy for guilt, while for overwork Oak is the remedy for the relentless plodder who never gives in, and Vervain is for people who take on extra hours with perhaps too much enthusiasm, maybe as a way of showing what good providers they are. Olive is always useful where physical tiredness is a problem but if possible the underlying emotional cause should be treated as well.
Guilt can also be a problem where work comes to seem a refuge from an irritable, pregnant wife or from the mess and noise created by the new arrival. Dad may find himself inventing reasons to stay at work. Again, Pine can help bring a sense of fairness, balance and responsibility back while at the same time reducing the negative effects of guilt.
The key in all cases is to treat the personality and the emotional states of the person concerned. So it doesn’t matter if you are selecting for dad or for one of the kids – the important thing is to look at the individual and how he or she feels.
With children – even very young children – this is not too difficult to do, since they are usually quite prepared to say what the problem is. But if there are problems, or if the child is too young to understand what you are getting at, then you can get a lot of information just by playing with the child and looking at how she or he responds to things. Is she timid and shy (Mimulus) or bossy and determined to get her own way (Vine)? Does he fly into a temper when a toy doesn’t work properly first time round (Impatiens), or does he continue to try in a methodical way to get it to go (Oak), or simply give up and not seem bothered whether it works or not (Wild Rose)?
As for dads, with some the real difficulty can be getting them to admit that they have any emotions at all, let alone negative ones. Those who laugh off the idea that the new baby might be putting them under stress, and turn every attempt at a serious discussion into a joke, would be candidates for Agrimony. This is the remedy for people who hide their worries behind a smile. Others may go the opposite way and lose all sense of proportion. If they are so wrapped up in their problems with the new baby that they provide their colleagues with minute and exhaustive accounts of the baby’s faecal exploits when they should be chairing a management meeting, then Heather is the remedy to help them recover the ability to see beyond their own concerns. It’s as well to give this remedy early, if it’s needed, before people start avoiding the poor man.
When it comes to actually taking the remedies, there are two main ways to do this. The first is to get hold of an empty 30ml dropper bottle from Aromansse. Put two drops of each selected remedy into the bottle – you can mix up to seven different remedies together if you need to – and top it up with still mineral water. Then from this bottle, known as a treatment bottle, you take four drops, four times a day.
The second way of taking the remedies is to again put two drops of each selected remedy into a glass of water, and then take sips from this throughout the day, at least four times during the day.
If you are using Rescue Remedy like this, add four drops instead of two.
Rescue Remedy? Don’t leave home without it! Rescue Remedy is the emergency remedy, for everyday crises and disasters, and any time when you are feeling particularly highly strung or under pressure. It is actually a mix of five individual flower remedies, including Star of Bethlehem for shock, Clematis for faintness, Impatiens for agitation, Rock Rose for terror and Cherry Plum to help you keep your self control. It isn’t a panacea, of course, and it’s always better to treat the underlying causes of emotional states by using the individual remedies. But when things are getting tough, the tough reach for Rescue. And it should certainly be part of the kit you have packed in the car ready for the midnight dash to hospital. Four drops in a cup of water, or on a cold compress, will help to steady dad’s nerves as delivery time approaches. And if she can prise the bottle off him, mum will find it a help as well and may be able to cope with rather less gas and air than she was expecting.
– Growing Up with Bach Flower Remedies by Judy Howard (CW Daniel Co Ltd)
– Bach Flower Remedies for Men by Stefan Ball (CW Daniel Co Ltd)
– Bach Flower Remedies for Women by Judy Howard (CW Daniel Co Ltd)